Thailand - On the return

Well, here we are in Thailand — after seven months spent mostly in Spain, reconnecting and making new connections to Dani’s homelands and to half of the girls’ roots. I don’t think I’ll fully process this time for a long, long while, but one thing is for sure: this trip has been absolutely worth it. Every crazy moment, every moaning child, every stressful border crossing, every uncomfortable night. All of it. Worth it. Amazing, scary, truthful, and everything in between.

As I sit here on a beach in Thailand — where Dani and I first met almost 19 years ago — I find myself reflecting on circular moments. Traveling like this at 45, with teenage-ish kids, and with a husband I’ve been married to for 16 years feels very different. I don’t crave the “totally new” as much as I once did. Instead, I seek out those moments I love to repeat, but now with more mature eyes. Moments I can share with my kids, so they might carry away a sliver of my experience.

That’s what the last months in Spain were about — mostly for Dani, but also for me: showing the girls the places we love from our past. Places filled with joy, and sometimes pain.

It all feels like a dream, yet it’s a dream we’ve made real. And the buzz of knowing we created this life for ourselves is very, very cool.

I do wonder how we’ll feel being back at base. We all carry mixed emotions. There’s so much to return to: wonderful friends and whānau, school for the girls, and a more settled rhythm for a while. Drawers will feel like a luxury bonus.

And yet, beyond the comforts, there’s also a sense of anticipation. How will these months of living in-between shape the way we land back home? Will we slow down, hold onto the openness that travel brought us, and weave it into our everyday lives? Will the girls feel stronger in who they are, carrying Spain and Aotearoa within them? Will Dani and I find fresh energy in the familiar, seeing home with new eyes?

What I do know is that going back doesn’t mean “going back to how it was.” We return changed — fuller, stretched, holding new stories. And as we settle again, I hope we keep choosing with intention: making space for connection, for creativity, and for the circular moments that remind us of who we are, together.